Love is, in my opinion, the most desired of human emotions. We need and want money, we need and want food, but love…
love has an indescribable power over us that can cause the greatest joy or the most perilous heartache. We long for love, no matter who we are, and deep down inside, we need love.
What happens, though, when you’ve been hurt too many times before and can no longer think of love in the pure, idealistic way you did in your youth? Is finding love again even possible for you, or will you always be cautious and cold?
You can do it! I’m going to show you how.
compass-for-love
1. Have an open heart
You cannot receive love if you aren’t willing to be loved. I care very deeply about a guy who refuses to give his heart out, he refuses to feel anything for anyone ever again, and he closed his heart to the idea of love a very long time ago. It’s a shame really.
You can’t find love if you’re not open to love. I know it hurts and it’s frightening, but you have to take the risk. You might get hurt again, but eventually, you’ll find the right person.
2. Step out of your comfort zone
Most of the time we have a certain type of guy we date. I know my type. It doesn’t always work for me when I step out of my type, but sometimes it does. I’ve had a few very good relationships with men who were not at all what I usually choose to date.
Be open minded about love and you might find that what you’re looking for isn’t at all what you’ve actually been looking for.
3. Compromise
There are some things you will have to compromise on in a relationship. Nobody’s perfect, and in order to find love, you must realize that nobody is perfect. Seeking perfection will only leave you lonely, so learn to accept people for their mistakes and to compromise on your “perfect mate” list.
beautiful-woman-with-lot-of-red-hearts
4. Don’t settle
Compromising does not mean settling. While it’s encouraged to accept someone for who they are, flaws and all, it’s not okay to settle for someone who isn’t good to you. It’s also never acceptable to settle for someone who doesn’t completely love you, or someone whom you don’t completely love in return.
5. Be realistic
Love isn’t always roses and honey. Love means sometimes you will argue, you’ll disagree, you’ll have bad days, he’ll make you cry, you’ll sometimes feel insecure, he’ll say something stupid, you’ll say something stupid…it’s messy. It’s also wonderful.
Be realistic about what love actually is and not the romance novel version of love, and finding love again will be much easier than you think.
6. Wait for the spark
woman-holding-red-hearts
I’ve been told that it’s more important to have an emotional connection with someone than to have a s*xual spark with someone. I still believe in having both. You might not find that there’s a spark until after the first few dates, so give it time. Also, if you’ve given it plenty of time and there’s still no spark, it’s okay to move on. Passion is a big part of falling in love.
7. Learn from the past
You are not perfect, so it’s important to learn from your past mistakes. Who did you date before? In what ways were you a bad girlfriend? What mistakes have you made that had a negative effect on your love life? You have to know and understand your past before you can go forward because making the same mistakes makes it more difficult to find real love.
8. Don’t repeat your bad habits
While it’s very important that you don’t make the same mistakes you always have in finding love, it’s also important that you break your bad habits now. If you’ve always dated men who are needy, need mothering, obsessive, abusive, pretty but stupid, or some other combination of “wrong”, then you have to move away from those tendencies in order to find love.
Your bad habits, if not broken, will only lead to more of the same kind of relationships you’ve had in your past. Break the cycle now and find a better kind of love.
woman-on-flower-field-heart-in-hands
9. Trust your gut
I probably could have saved myself a lot of heartache and trauma if I would have listened to my gut instinct about a few of the guys I’ve dated. I know, you get blinded by a set of gorgeous baby blue eyes, or a wickedly s*xy smile, and you ignore that gnawing feeling in your gut telling you something isn’t quite right.
The next thing you know, you’re devastated by that guy and you’re thinking to yourself “I should have listened to my gut”.
10. Trust and believe in love
The most important thing you need for finding love again, is to really trust and believe in love. If you don’t believe you will find love, then you most likely never will. You might not find it when you want it, you might not find it where you’re looking for it, but you will find it if you truly believe in it.
Love is elusive and often shows up in the most unlikely place at the most unexpected time. I found love at the most random times in my life, often when I didn’t think I wanted it and wasn’t expecting it.
Keep your heart open for love, learn from your mistakes, date better men than your exes, recognize that love isn’t always happy, and wait for that spark. You’ll find love again.
0 comments:
Post a Comment